


do it better with no one around

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Produce 101 (TV) - Freeform, minor pairings even if you don't squint, not quite nct2018 but make it broduce s4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27123383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Mark prides himself in breathing The Idol Life™, but with the hundred other seats around him and a hundred other war-ready faces already scanning for the nearest cameras, he can't help but feel small.Enter Lucas Wong, whose large stature and blinding smile should intimidate Mark, but only makes him feel ready to face the world.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85
Collections: PRODEBUTER FEST - ROUND 01





	do it better with no one around

**Author's Note:**

> in case u never watched pd101 here’s the general timeline: audition (a to f rank) -> theme song dance evaluation (trainees reshuffled based on class rank) -> idol cover eval -> position (rap/dance/vocals) eval -> concept eval -> finals. 
> 
> after every challenge there is a ranking where ~20 trainees get eliminated.
> 
> for w/d and o/h, my produce kings. it's been a year since i started this concept, i'm glad it's finally made it!

Mark doesn’t have a lot of memories about his life in Vancouver.

If there’s one thing he _does_ remember, though, it’s what his father told him when he was a child. After he taught Mark how to play the guitar for the first time, his father told him: "You breathe music, you know." He said it while ruffling Mark's hair, voice low and warm.

In his memory, young Mark leaned into the touch, despite not knowing what his father meant at the time. 

The words were repeated to him when he was thirteen, right before he was shipped off to South Korea from Vancouver, and Mark felt like he was on top of the world. A mantra, a reminder of what he was working towards. 

"Don't worry, Minhyung," his father said. "You'll be fine, because you were made to do music. You breathe music." 

Young Mark wrinkled his nose at the name, teenage angst fuelling him to go against his roots. He went to an English-speaking school. Everyone called him Mark. He was _Mark_ , not Minhyung. 

At that time, sheltered and naive, pride filled his chest at being the only one in the entire Canada who auditioned and was accepted by the best entertainment company in South Korea. 

Mark grinned, flipping the calling card and running his thumb over the grainy surface. 

But dreams are deceiving, especially from far away.

When Mark steps into the practice room, he comes face first with Lee Taeyong, who was one of the most objectively handsome people he had ever seen. Then Lee Jeno, whose advertisements he had seen growing up, and Park Jisung who had already starred in U-Know Yunho's music video and built a name as becoming The Next Taemin.

Suddenly, Mark feels less than, and he fights the urge to hide. 

He places his hand in his pocket, avoiding their curious looks and pushing the luggage he's been carrying around to the side. Feeling a sharp corner of the calling card, he lets it press into his skin, closing his fist around it. He breathes, counting four beats before gathering himself. 

"Hi," he says, voice airy. He bows while gathering his hands on his stomach, momentarily letting go of the card. "I'm Lee Minhyung."

He doesn’t know why he introduces himself as Minhyung.

After, in record time, he toughens, no longer allowing himself to feel intimidated. He builds a name for himself as SM's best rapper, in addition to speaking English and playing the guitar. Triple threat, ace.

Only then does he adopt the name _Lee Mark_ again. 

He takes it all in stride, finding familiarity in the envy in the eyes of the older trainees, whose youths were slipping away from them. He finds pride in the admiration in the younger trainees who come up to Mark to whisper, _I want to be like Mark-hyung in the future_. It slowly becomes routine, enjoying every day that he has, grabbing every opportunity presented to him.

Maybe he had become cocky, too used to the general praise he received back at the company, where he was the best of the nobodies. 

Perhaps it was the fact that he had mostly been stuck in the dance practice room, away from prying eyes, which let him go soft.

“SM’s golden boy.” Taeyong had told him while pinching his cheek, and even then, Mark had felt young yet sure of himself. He had proven his worth to Taeyong, no longer feeling like a lost child like his first day. “You’re going to do just fine.”

Because all that— all the reassurances and practice could not prepare him for the fear that blanketed his skin in a cold sweat as he entered the crowded hall of trainees.

He’s struck by the sheer number of people that watch him as he enters, Gucci sneakers doing nothing to cushion the weight that was on his shoulders, and Chanel jacket providing no protection from the chill that ran up his spine. Hundreds of eyes were all on him, and Mark’s throat began to close, the music looping in his head starting to fade out. 

Here, Mark doesn’t have the calling card reminding him of what he was built to do. He’s hyper aware of the SM logo displayed on the huge LED screen behind him, but unlike the first time he entered the practice room, the thought of SM having his back brings him anxiety instead of ease. 

He feels like the trainee on his first day, _Lee Minhyung_. He wants to avert his eyes, look down and step outside to gather himself again. But he can’t. 

Instead, he lets his fingers curl and fingernails dig into his palm, the calling card a phantom feeling. 

It’s one in, two out, a natural rhythm, and Mark smiles up at the bright lights and cameras with whatever ease he can muster. Someone in the far top corner waves at him and he squints. 

A lifeline. Lee Jeno in the flesh– transferred to JYP Entertainment before Produce started. 

_A taste of big 3 competition for you_ , he had texted Mark cheekily the previous day. _We’re gonna debut together anyway._

Mark grins, waving, before realizing that all the seats in that row were taken. His stomach sinks. On autopilot, he moves to the empty seat #57, before it registers belatedly that this was the seat that Somi had sat on during the first season.

He puts his clammy hands in his pockets and crosses his fingers, hoping for the best. He utters a prayer, indiscreetly closing his eyes. He knows it’ll probably be cut out since the editing team would want to portray him as a shoo-in for debut, the threat who was basically perfect and knew it. Mark is ready skill-wise for this crazy assumption, but he secretly hopes the competition won’t be too tough on him either.

When he opens his eyes, he’s met with a gorgeous pair entering the room. 

The logo on the LED changes to _Label V_ , and Mark watches two tall men enter the room. The taller one has blonde hair with dark brown roots, and the other has pink hair. They’re both impressive in build and face, but Mark can’t take his eyes off the taller one. 

The whole room stands out of respect and a wary welcome. He can hear fellow trainees around him whispering harshly, raving about how handsome the two were. The volume increases as the taller one pushes his hair back, and Mark silently compares it to the reaction he received when he entered. 

He resists the urge to sit down immediately, half fuelled by a misplaced sense of rivalry—seriously? This guy wasn’t even Donghyuck— and takes a deep breath. 

Suddenly, everyone’s looking at Mark, and he freezes, staring back at the row in front of him. Could everyone already tell how big of a reaction this guy was getting from Mark? 

He looks back at the two trainees on the stage, and realizes the shorter, pink-haired one was actually pointing to the two empty seats next to Mark. 

Mark bows as the pink haired one sits next to him, and steals a glance at the taller one. 

The one with the pink hair bows, and Mark hastily mirrors it. “Hello. I'm Winwin, and he's Lucas."

 _Lucas._ Mark wants to practice saying the name, but stops himself. Instead, he says, “Nice to meet you both.” 

Lucas smiles at Mark and bows slightly, and Mark has to take a breath. Determined, he squashes all thoughts of Lucas, replacing it with the word _Debut_ in his head over and over again. He never looks too far to his right, for fear of getting distracted.

Strangely, when he moves his hand into a fist again, it feels empty, the feeling of the calling card momentarily gone. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s not hard to be busy, especially with Mark moving to train exclusively with ‘A’ rank trainees, and Lucas fighting hard to keep his place in the ‘C’ rank. 

The first week of filming passes by in a blur as Mark busies himself by trying not to drop his class rank. There he meets Zhong Chenle who enamoured the trainers’ panel with his cute smile and all rounded talents. 

Chenle laughs at every thing that happens around him and weakly, Mark tries to laugh alongside him. He studies the ranking, sighing in relief at his first rank at #4, easily gathering attention with the extensive content from his SMROOKIES days. Chenle rises steadily behind him at #6, his predebut clips and photos enough arsenal for an entire folder of meme material.

His chest swells with pride at Jeno’s rank at #1, stealing hearts with his piercing gaze during the ending pose and eye smile during his introduction video. Chasing right after Jeno is Na Jaemin, who gathered attention from the new _aegyo_ set he created in his introduction video. 

After their next individual rank challenge, Mark high-fives Jeno as he walks into 'A' class from 'B' with his head raised. When he looks to properly applaud Jeno on his improvement, hoping to cling onto the smallest bit of familiarity, he finds that Chenle is already beside him, complimenting Jeno with a smile Mark has never seen before.

When Mark doesn’t get kicked from the 'A' class, despite the high notes and non-stop pace of the dance routine, he finally breathes a little bit. Oddly enough, Mark feels like he’s going through the motions of the competition, looking at what worked for him during training evaluations at SM and recreating those to showcase his talents.

Despite the satisfactory rank, he feels unappeased. 

Before he can think about it, they get swept into the next challenge, the most iconic and arguably important time of the competition: the Idol Covers. 

“What the hell is the lineup?” He hears Jaemin mutter angrily beside him. “If you’re gonna choose a Seventeen song, why not _Fear_?”

“I don’t know,” Mark admits, hoping that his next words will not be aired. “But I’m gonna avoid every song that isn’t from SM.” 

“Golden boy,” Jeno teases, leaning forward across Jaemin to poke Mark’s cheek. Before he can, he’s foiled by Lee Dongwook who calls him forward to take first pick as the current #1. 

Mark pokes his tongue out in childish retaliation before clenching both his fists in a _Fighting!_ motion. 

Unsurprisingly, Jeno takes Mark, along with some more seasoned and lower ranked trainees. 

When Jaemin gets asked about whether he’s hurt his fellow company trainee hadn’t chosen him, he replies easily, “He isn’t trying to build the third Avengers, that’s for sure.” This gains laughs from the crowd, and he continues jokingly, “And I’m pretty sure Jeno’s threatened by me.”

Mark can picture it already: the intense zoom-ins and dramatic silence they’ll edit Jaemin’s words into. They'll surely place it next to Jeno’s frustration at something else, creating a forced narrative of rivalry between the two who trusted each other more than anything. He might as well milk his part of the drama, making a surprised, almost offended expression at Jaemin’s words. 

While Jaemin had said that Mark’s team was _not_ the Third Avengers, the individual members ranked pretty well due to the benefit of extra votes, raised by Jeno and Mark’s popularity. 

Because of that, the first elimination hits Mark minimally, if at all. He hadn’t grown close to many trainees, limiting his circle to Jeno, Chenle, and Jaemin.

It does hit Jaemin hard, who unlike Mark, had spent the Cover Battle round with other trainees. He had been fortunate (or unfortunate, Mark thinks in hindsight) to have gotten along well with Ji Hansol, who was the group leader for their team Good Boy. 

Mark hadn’t lost anyone he knew, but he sympathised with Jaemin, who dreamt of being in the same group as Hansol. Jaemin clutches onto Hansol, crying in regret. 

Hansol pats his back, and says, “Go chase your dream. Mine will be fine.”  
  
He watches as Jaemin almost immediately straightens, still tearful and voice still wobbling. “I’ll do it for you,” he promises. 

Beside him, Mark wonders what it must be like to care for someone else’s dream. Especially when he could not even convince his whole heart to chase his own. 

He stretches his fingers. The dent from where the calling card’s corner pressed into in his palm was starting to fade. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


If he’s being honest, Mark can’t remember when he started being friends with Lucas. He wants to say something like he can’t remember a time before Lucas started being by his side, but it's not true.

He’s certain Lucas has always been in his peripheral, especially since there was a time during the Position Evaluations where Chenle literally imitated everything Lucas did.

Or maybe they became friends when Winwin and Jeno end up in the same dance group for Position Evaluations, and Winwin and Lucas become fixtures to their little corner in the cafeteria. 

They've just been grouped together for Concept Evaluations to do a electro-hip hop song titled _BOSS_ , and Mark is curious.

But fans know better than he does, and Mark reads about his relationship with Lucas before he even realizes they had interacted quite a bit. He spends a lot of time on Pann, fuelled by all the promotional articles Ten sends him. 

The one about him and Lucas, though, he finds on his own.   
  


**[enter-talk] AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS MARK AND LUCAS’ FRIENDSHIP IS CUTE?**

To be honest I wasn’t going to watch this season of Produce but Mark’s Rookies video was too cute! I watched him closely and noticed how he takes care of Lucas TT 

[gif[ 1 ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/34/03/df/3403dfcdb9263fbbd2ba2c3115ed68bd.gif) / [ 2 ](https://data.whicdn.com/images/279671446/original.gif)] Mark’s visual one-pick Hwang Wookhee 

[[ gif ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/21/b6/8f21b6a2131e94447d3c6620cfc7fd57.gif)] Mark cheering for Lucas when he got into top 20! 

[[ gif ](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fd19ee8f0bbb78304d1714fc06154228/tumblr_pj64t5fXz71xr68lvo1_500.gif)] Visual explosion during the one time they played games together!!!

Cheering for this 99z to debut together! MarkCas fighting!

Comments:

  1. [+732,-500] People who do RPS gather around… we will make them interact for real…
  2. [+566, -44] Their visual combination is crazy. Mnet put them in the BOSS unit together ㅠㅠ
  3. [+681, -310] So far in Produce, they had never been in the same group but in some backstage photos, Mark was leaning on Lucas. I still remember how surprised I was because of their unexpected closeness. Seeing them being so close with each other like that, honestly, I’m so soft I could die.
  4. [+529, -510] These two make such a perfect match… Mnet do the editing please
  5. [+258, -98] Minhyung really looks like he has a crush ㄷㄷㄷㄷ 



  
  


At that last comment, Mark closes the tab quickly. He places his phone face down on his chest, as if afraid to be caught. In reality, he knows it's probably a Lucas fan trying to promote their combination for the 2-trainee voting. Still, Mark is afraid of the thoughts it'll leave in his head, a fear that he'll hope that the combination will come true.

In the quiet, he hears Chenle’s light sleep-talking in the bed above, Shanghai accent slipping out before he smacks his lips together and changes his sleeping position. 

Damn, Mark’s spent nearly two months in this place and he can already recognize Chenle’s movements from the sound of the springs. 

Ten sends him a link to the very same article he had exited moments before, with many suggestive emojis. Mark watches the notifications pop up continuously, the emojis flashing before his eyes before the string of messages is punctuated with _he is seriously your type, though. I can’t believe you get to debut AND romance? Mark Lee the overtime worker huh._

That earns an eye roll from Mark who swipes the seemingly endless messages away before switching his phone screen off and turning around.

He’d never admit this out loud, but his last thought before sleep consumes him is that of tan skin, a bright, wide smile, and even larger eyes. 

"I'm not looking for romance," Mark announces the next morning during breakfast unprompted. 

Winwin and Lucas were attending extra language classes, so he takes the time to openly reflect. He dumps his can of Monster into the americano Jaemin stole, stirring it before passing it to Chenle. 

"I'm here to debut, and that's all." 

"No one asked." Jaemin mumbles. Mark ignores it in favor of Chenle and Jeno's murmurs of agreement. 

"So no bromance? No visual combination that floors everyone else?" Jeno asks.

"That doesn't exist. If it did, I would say that's you and Jaemin." Mark says, raising his chopsticks to point in Jeno’s direction. "But my point stands: that's all editing work." 

"There's no smoke without fire," Chenle counters easily.

"The apples don't fall far from trees," Jeno says right after, bumping his shoulder against Chenle’s.

“You two…” Mark frowns. “I hate you both.”  
  
“No you don’t. You know we’re the best you have, unless you want to go back home to Lee Donghyuck.” Jeno says, giving him a pointed look.

Mark considers the reminder for a moment, then shudders and retracts his words. 

Jaemin peers into the mug where Mark had created the monster-coffee concoction. He takes a sip, then nods approvingly. "I don't know, Mark-hyung. I think you're a romantic.

“Maybe that’s your one fatal flaw. But luckily, I don’t think you’ll have that weakness exposed here. It’s not like you have a crush, right?” Jaemin asks, downing the rest of the caffeine bomb in one go. 

Mark regrets thinking about how Jaemin will be sitting on the toilet bowl right after afternoon practice. Then he considers Jaemin’s words carefully, shaking his head as Jeno and Chenle look at him curiously. 

He needs to give an answer, so. “Right,” Mark says. 

But it doesn’t sound _right._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After one particularly brutal elimination round, Mark, Jeno, Jaemin, Lucas, Winwin, and Chenle decide to name themselves The Dreamers. 

It comes from when Mark heard Chenle humming the hook to John Lennon's Imagine: _You may say that I'm a dreamer_ , _but I'm not the only one_. 

Before Position Evaluations, Winwin manages to nab the tenth spot, leaving Lucas the only one of their group who hasn't made it into the debut ranks. Mark can't help but think that there'll only ever be five spots for The Dreamers in the top 11. 

It's a traitorous thought— one that undermines Lucas' efforts to match them for every single day he's behind on training.

Mark knows that half the time Lucas gets criticized, it isn’t his fault. The next time is no exception.

It starts during Position Evaluations, when Lucas had come to Mark on advice on rap. 

“What even is rap,” Lucas had complained, sitting next to Mark despite being in a different trio. 

“Rap is half confidence, half practice,” Mark replied. “That's how I think about everything. I'm sure you can do it too, Lucas.”  
  
So Lucas goes for individual interview filming and repeats the words. “Everything is half practice half confidence. Let’s give half of each and make it whole!”

But what gets aired from two separate cuts is this: “Let’s give half. It will still be okay.” 

The backlash that comes is intense.

While observant, trusting fans cry foul and curse Mnet’s editing job, it comes to the point where Lucas is reduced to tears. Chenle and Winwin stand beside him, trying to calm and reassure Lucas that the misunderstanding would be resolved. 

“There’s no way Label V will let them do this. Let them do their job while you do yours, okay, Xuxi?” Winwin whispers. Still, Lucas looks unconvinced. 

When Mnet twists Lucas' words, words _Mark_ had told him, Mark finds a nagging voice in him telling him to take responsibility.

"Let's debut together. I will make it happen." Mark goes up to Lucas, his legs moving faster than the hesitation and the competitive, lone wolf side of him can't pull him back fast enough. 

Even when Mark stops to think about it, he realizes he doesn't want to take the words back. He _wants_ this.

“What?” Lucas asks. He sniffles a little, then pouts. “Surely you’re seeing what they think I said."

“I know. I don’t care. Brilliance is half passion, half hard work. That's everything that you are.” Mark says, and though he said it to be comforting, he finds that he means it. 

“I thought it was half confidence, half practice.” Lucas peers up at Mark from where he’s seated, eyelashes wet from his tears. It makes him look pretty, but Mark ignores that thought. 

“The formula changes.” Mark scratches the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for saying that to you.”

Lucas shakes his head, knowing it wasn’t Mark’s fault but unable to believe it wasn’t his own. 

“Do you think my judgement is poor, Lucas?" Mark crouches to meet Lucas’ eyes. He asks, "Do you trust me?" 

"Yes." Lucas answers immediately, and it’s the only thing he sounds sure of. 

Here's the thing: everyone knows people always come to Mark to get his help because they trust Mark.

But Lucas is the first person Mark _knows_ he wants to help.

"Then let's do it together. Let’s _debut_ together."

There's a 51% chance that Mark is making sure that he'll fall in love with Lucas. But he honestly likes these odds, and decides to take them. 

Mark reaches out his hand, inviting Lucas to stand up. His hand closed around Lucas’, a firm grip. Instead of the dig of the calling card near-piercing his skin, Lucas’ hand feels warm.

He smiles, and finds all the reason to keep going.

After that, all Mark knows is that he and Lucas become close enough for Mark to wake up leaning on Lucas’ shoulder after a short nap during practice. 

“Did you sleep well?” Lucas says, honorifics intact, as he grins at Mark who rubs his eyes and offers a half smile. 

“‘M sorry,” he says instead, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on your shoulder.” 

“That’s okay, I’ll consider this a work out,” Lucas says, grinning, hair flopping into his eyes like it’s a goddamn drama, and Mark has to look away. 

It isn’t a secret that Lucas is Mark’s type. True to Pann, he was Mark’s pick during the Visual Choice Corner, and Mark had held back from gushing all about Lucas’ physical features. But here, in round 4, so fucking close to the end, Mark should just _not_ fall for Lucas. 

Jaemin should have reprimanded Mark lightly, telling him to refocus and reminding him that the future that Mark should focus on is his own. That it’s only when _Mark_ debuts that everyone can hear the music that he breathes. 

Too bad Jaemin was busy playing leader in his team _GO_ , apologetically shaking his head at Mark whenever he called Jaemin out for a short break. Jaemin wordlessly beckons a thumb back into the practice room where a short lanky trainee repeats a four-beat dance move stiffly. 

Mark watches for a moment as the trainee—who he recognizes as Huang Renjun, from the articles—gets more awkward with the repetition, and winces as he jerks away from Jaemin’s touch. 

So, he turns to his other friends. 

Chenle is more optimistic, and he even drags Jeno into his unshakable sunny disposition. “Why do you talk like there’s only one winner, hyung?” He asks through a mouthful of rice. 

Mark makes a face, unhappy at the prospect of getting spit on or a flying rice grain landing on his shirt.

Jeno passes Chenle a tissue and nods thoughtfully, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Chenle takes their collective silence as a cue to continue. “Lucas is at #13 now, he has a steady chance of getting in too. Why can’t you allow yourself to think of a future where you _both_ win?”

“Since when did you get so mature?” Mark asks, too stunned to give an excuse.

In Chenle's bright, almost obnoxiously loud laughter, it’s easy to forget that he, too, is just a young teenager fighting to realize his dreams in a foreign country. At this realization, Mark ruffles his hair and scoops more food from his own bowl into Chenle’s. Chenle loudly protests and shakes Jeno for help against the force that is Mark Lee. 

In his mind, Mark allows himself to consider another life where he had met the two in a different setting. A life where they could be allowed to live their teenage years normally, a group of friends gathered to hang out over delicious food instead of the cutthroat competition they were participating in. 

But Mark knows they'd choose nothing over their dreams. This was the only reality. 

As Chenle follows Jeno, getting up to put away his utensils, Mark grabs Chenle’s arm. “Would you want things any differently?” Mark asks.

Chenle answers without hesitation: “No. This is my best life, and I hope you think it is yours too, hyung.” 

In that instantaneous reply, Mark realizes that he’s underestimated Chenle all along. It was Mark who never understood the competition’s core.

He had missed the essence of Produce in his haste to rise to expectations— the people you met along the way and the way they chased their dreams would inspire and motivate you to chase yours. To fully own your dream and make a way to get it. 

Mark doesn’t think he can ever be as brave as Chenle, but it seems like no one can. 

The next day, Lee Dongwook asks a series of questions for the _BOOM_ team's pre-performance interview. On stage, he asks Chenle how he’s able to cope with the pressure and laugh so freely.

As a testament to that bravery he possesses, Chenle answers, “I had a lot of hyungs who helped me, especially one really cool team leader hyung. I hope you’ll let us debut together.” 

On stage, Jeno doesn’t hold Chenle’s hand, or even touch him. He just smiles out at the crowd, two people away from Chenle, as if he doesn’t know the words are meant specially for him. They doesn’t have the luxury of privacy, focusing only on the opportunity to present themselves in front of eager crowds. 

But backstage, hidden in the wings of the stage, Mark has a moment of semblance of privacy. So he grabs the chance, actually listening to Chenle’s words about living his best life.

Silently, Mark takes Lucas’ hand in his. 

Lucas, like Jeno, doesn’t look at Mark, but he squeezes back, grip tighter than ever. And that’s answer enough for Mark.

“There’s a room that changes history in this season of Produce,” Jeno says, holding a flashlight under his chin. 

“Shut up and show them the room already,” Jaemin says, snatching the flashlight from Jeno. Under his breath, he mutters, “That wasn’t even funny.”

Jeno obediently twists the knob and pushes the door open to reveal a room identical to countless other practice rooms. 

When Mark voices this out to Jaemin, he nods with a suspicious twinkle in his eye. “But this room doesn’t have microphones or cameras. A bunch of Pledis trainees stole the equipment before they were eliminated.” 

“Fucking legends,” Chenle whispers beside him, openly marvelling at the rebellion. Mark doesn’t ask Chenle where he learnt the profanity, but judging from Jaemin’s proud pat on the back, he already knows the answer. “Maybe we’ll win Produce but we’ll never have the same impact as them.” 

Now two weeks later, Mark sits beside Lucas, the harsh ceiling lighting flickering every two seconds. They’re pressed together, shoulders touching, and Lucas' left leg is slung over Mark’s right.

Mark can feel his circulation getting cut off, gently and discreetly massaging it instead of asking Lucas to get his heavy leg off him. Between them is a piece of paper with printed lyrics, carefully annotated in big, blocky Hangul. 

“Thanks for showing me this room,” Lucas says, smiling wide. Mark raises the paper, confused. “And for coaching me on the rap, of course.”  
  
“And here I thought you only wanted me for my insider ability,” Mark jokes, and he mentally slaps himself for the _but I want you in every way_ that threatens to spill out of his mouth. “But seriously, it’s fine. That’s what seniors are supposed to do.”  
  
“You don't feel like a senior. You feel like a _friend_. Maybe it's silly to say that in a competition, but... It's better to have a friend than a senior. There isn't any distance that keeps you apart and hurts you.” Lucas barks out a laugh and it comes out sharp and bitter, unlike his usual delighted ones and Mark’s eyebrows furrow. It sounds like it comes from personal experience.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” Lucas explains, easily reading Mark’s silence. They’re both thinking the same thing, although they don’t know it yet. _How can he just wear his heart on his sleeve like that? Let everyone see the way he feels?_

Mark gnaws his bottom lip, thinking of a thousand ways to say the same thing, the same reassurance. Mark doesn’t know if it’ll mean anything to Lucas. 

Lucas beats him to it. “I don’t think you’re going to be like that.” That same genuine, trusting smile.

“Is there anything in the world you can be sure of? Not to discredit myself.” Mark laughs, and it jostles him closer to Lucas. Lucas doesn’t move, and they’re aware of their proximity, but don’t move away from each other. “How are you sure I can protect that impression of me?” 

“What?” Lucas drags out the word, and it sounds funny. “I don’t know, is it so bad that I trust you?”

Mark turns left to look up slightly at Lucas who is suddenly immersed in reading his lyrics sheet, not meeting Mark’s eyes. 

“Chenle has said some things to me.” Now, Mark’s going out on a limb here. He usually avoids talking to Chenle about Lucas, too afraid that he will read Mark easily and see how much Mark _wants_ Lucas. “You want to keep working with me?”  
  
“Yes. If I were to achieve my dream here, then I want to be by your side.” 

There’s an unfamiliar uneasiness that washes over Lucas’ face, and Mark wants to take it away, reassure Lucas, so he does it in a way he knows Lucas understands. He takes Lucas’ hand, pressing their palms together. Lucas intertwines their fingers, and it feels like a promise _._

“Me too. Because if you weren’t here, I think I’d miss you too much.” 

  
  
  


Lucas and Mark get to sit together during the last voting announcement that takes place without an audience. They wait for their ranks, hands clasped tightly between two nervous souls, unnoticed by the camera. Not rising stars Mark Lee and Lucas Wong— just two star-crossed boys trying to make it together.

Mark is still waiting for that damn coveted #11 for Lucas, but he knows that the world is cruel. 

"If your name is called now..." He fastens his hold on Lucas a little more as they start to announce the 12th spot. "Will you be disappointed?"

12th. Just missed the mark. A star that didn't quite make its mark on Earth's night sky.

"No." Lucas doesn't hesitate when he says so, and Mark feels the smile bubbling in him. "All of this that I received is much more than enough."

Mark thinks Lucas is far worthy of being in the top 11, and while he swallows his words of reassurance, he hopes his hand giving Lucas’ a squeeze will do more than enough.

"Number twelfth," Lee Dongwook starts, pausing a tad too long for Mark's poor heart. "Label V's Lucas trainee."

A huge smile almost splits Lucas's face apart, and Mark breaks into automatic applause. 

Damn. Just a little short of top 11. With him.

"You go, Lucas-hyung!" Comes Chenle’s ever-energetic cheer, and Lucas humbly makes his way to the front. He mentions his _BOSS_ team and of course the National Producers who make the dream work. 

Mark smiles, quietly mumbling _You’ve done well_ over and over to himself, unusually reserved with his reactions.  
  
He’s seen Lucas’ transformation first hand. Although in differing teams, in between common missions, Mark is proud to see how far he's come. Seeing Lucas finally acclaimed for his hidden baritone voice and multi-faceted charms instead of just his boyish looks and impressive physique, Mark feels untouchable.

Yet, his heart is sinking. Imagining Lucas ranking a nasty twelfth at the finale, on national television, shakes him beyond explanation. 

Mark has never dropped lower than fifth since the start of the competition, but he figures it wouldn't be too bad if he dropped to tenth place just to get Lucas into the top 11. Just to get them to debut together.  
  
For Lucas to stay by his side for another few years, he'd let go his pride of being in the top five out of a hundred and one. Because Lucas was the entire reason he was still there.  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s three hours before the long finale when the Dreamers™, now including Huang Renjun who clawed for his life against a Lai Kuanlin reincarnation, decide to retire to bed.

There are a lot of empty rooms now that they’re down to the last twenty, and Winwin shakes his head as Jeno and Chenle giggle while pushing into their shared room. He also spies Renjun and Jaemin snagging an empty room down the hall, until he's left face to face with Lucas and Mark. 

Mark and Lucas remain unmoving in the hallway, standing across from Winwin, who looks absolutely done with them. Winwin shrugs and simply says, “See you both in the morning. Be _dressed_.” 

“We’re not like that,” Mark hollers down the hallway where Winwin disappears into the room he now uses alone.

“Actually, we can’t guarantee that!” Lucas shouts after Mark cheekily. 

Mark is right though, it would be crazy to do anything drastic on the morning that would change all their lives. Instead, they lay on the same cramped bunk bed— the bottom bunk, because Mark is half-certain Lucas might fall off. 

They lie facing each other, heads huddled so close that Mark doesn’t need his glasses to see Lucas’ face clearly. 

“What’s the best outcome for you?” Mark asks. 

“Debuting together.” Lucas answers, but his voice sounds clipped. Mark angles his head so he can see the full expression on Lucas’ face. Lucas averts his eyes. 

“You don’t look like you mean that.” It’s meant to be playful, but Lucas’ face turns serious. 

“You don’t understand," Lucas says. “I have this crazy dream that I keep getting. You and I— whatever project we do next… It's not the one that appears in my dreams. Because Jeno isn’t there when he will be.”  
  
“You have dreams of us?”

Lucas nods sheepishly. “Yes. But in my dreams… Our groups keep changing. In one, there are people I’ve never seen before, and Winwin is there. Then in the next dream, Winwin isn’t there, but I see EXO. I even see SHINee. And that’s crazy, right?”  
  
“It’s a true dream,” Mark agrees. “If you try hard enough, maybe you’ll even get to dance to Replay in front of Taemin.” It's to lighten the mood, and Lucas cracks a smile. 

“So when you ask what the best outcome is for me, I have this crazy dream where Label V is under SM. And you and I will keep getting to work together.” Lucas explains.

“Because now, or right after this isn’t enough for me.” He takes a deep breath, and for the first time, Lucas looks nervous. He sounds earnest, wide eyes watching Mark carefully. “I want to keep seeing you in the future.” 

Mark smiles, but it’s bittersweet, and Lucas looks alarmed. Lucas’ hand comes up to cup Mark’s face, a thumb rubbing over his cheek. 

Shaking his head, Mark says, “I told you we were going to debut together right?” 

Lucas whispers _yes_ , and Mark’s smile turns bright. His voice is soft when he says: “Trust me. This is just the beginning.” 

Mark’s still doesn't feel great with words, trusting himself with expressions and actions, so he wraps his arms around Lucas’ torso, shifting so his chin is hooked over Lucas’. The weight of his body next to Mark’s is solid, and Mark finds solace, finally completely letting go of that ratty calling card that he’s gripped so tight in his hand.

Instead, he keeps his grip tight on Lucas, and listens to his voice. 

“We’re going to debut together,” Lucas repeats. 

No one but them can hear the words, but to them, that means everything. 


End file.
